Those Eyes...
©2002 JimCavalier.com

I knew. I knew the first time I saw her. I knew I loved her. I knew she would become a part of my being, become my muse, my reason, resolve. I knew she was the one that could save me from myself. I also knew she would one day destroy me.

And there was the picture, eyes staring at me through time. A thousand yesterdays erased and memory once again reality. No escape. That picture, like barbed steel in my soul. Pulling away meant only more agony, not pulling away was a futile attempt to encourage the endorphins of time. Fifteen years, 100,000 miles, gallons of alcohol and a hundred lovers meant nothing. Eviscerating pain not quelled by any drug, an unquenchable thirst, those eyes.

Tattered around the edges and faded with time, the picture reminded me. Unnecessarily ever present, and yet never far from reach, the image burnt into my mind and tattooed on my soul. A time when the sun was warm, the air was fresh, and the future would bend at our will. Youth was power. Invincible and arrogant, I made her mine. Those eyes, they could always see through me.

Her kiss still burning on my lips like melted sugar. The taste of her skin, fresh and clean. Her embrace erasing the universe, replacing it with ecstasy. Long cool nights, hot moist days, freedom in commitment, inviting touches, teasing whispers, and brutal passion. Those eyes, they knew how to love me.

In a blink, abandoned. Torn away by his lies, betrayal of others. Then his child. Those eyes, now distant, blind to my destruction.

Once wine and roses, now a magnum in each hand. Solitary in silence, one taste of each. No pause, no choice, no second thought. Dissolving smoke, motionless, mist.

Missed by a moment, the phone finally rings.